:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
