Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
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