if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
