yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
