I hate all girls vehemently.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
