Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
