how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
