you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Ambien. No doubt about it.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
