So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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