I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
