first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
