i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
