i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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