Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
