After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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