Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Randomize
