I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
