You smell like stripper and shame
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
