i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
