The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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