Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
