with your own penis?
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
