he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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