our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
