yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
