Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
