and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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