I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
