ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Damn victory sex feels great
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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