yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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