My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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