just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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