So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
50% drunk capacity currently
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
