YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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