is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
