what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
