I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
