"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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