hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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