dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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