Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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