Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
