Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Randomize
