are you so shy because you have an std?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
