Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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