six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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