How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
