Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
