Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
