worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Randomize
