The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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