Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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